Customer
Service (CS) Rep. :
"Yes, Ma'am, how may I help you today?"
Customer:
"Well, after much consideration, I've decided
to install LOVE. Can you guide
me through the process?"
CS
Rep. :
"Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"
Customer:
"Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready to install now. What do
I do first?"
CS
Rep. :
"The first step is to open your HEART. Have
you located your HEART ma'am?"
Customer:
"Yes I have, but there are several other
programs running right now. Is it
okay to install while they are running?"
CS
Rep. :
"What programs are running ma'am?"
Customer:
"Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now."
CS
Rep. :
"No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE
from your current
operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE.
However,
you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn
those off ma'am?"
Customer:
"I don't know how to turn them off. Can you
tell me how?"
CS
Rep. :
"My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as
many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been
completely erased."
Customer:
"Okay, done. LOVE has started installing
itself automatically. Is that
normal?"
CS
Rep. :
"Yes. You should receive a message that says
it will reinstall for the life
of your HEART. Do you see that message?"
Customer:
"Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"
CS
Rep. :
"Yes, but remember that you have only the
base program. You need to begin
connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the
upgrades."
Customer:
"Oops. I have an error message already. What
should I do?"
CS
Rep. :
"What does the message say?"
Customer:
"It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN
ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that
mean?"
CS
Rep. :
"Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program
is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not
yet been run on
your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in
nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE"
your own machine before it
can "LOVE" others."
Customer:
"So what should I do?"
CS
Rep. :
"Can you pull down the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"?"
Customer:
"Yes, I have it."
CS
Rep. :
" Excellent. You're getting good at this."
 Customer:
"Thank you."
CS
Rep. :
"You're welcome. Click on the following files
and then copy them to the
"MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC,
REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and
TOLERANCE.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting
files and begin
patching any faulty programming. Also, you need
to delete
VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories,
and then empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and
permanently
gone erased."
Customer:
"Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with
new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on
my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE,
and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this
normal?"
CS
Rep. :
"Sometimes. For others it takes a while,
but eventually everything gets
downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed
and running. You
should be able to handle it from here. One more
thing before I go."
Customer:
"Yes?"
CS
Rep. :
"LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and
its various modules to everybody
you meet. They will share it with other people
and then return some
similarly sacred modules back to you."
Customer:
"I will. Thanks for your help. By the way,
what's your name?"
CS
Rep. :
" You may call me the Divine Cardiologist,
also known as The Great
Physician, sometimes called God or Source. Many
people feel all they need is
an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the
Manufacturer suggests a
schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
Put
another way, keep in touch . . . "
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客户服务员：
"夫人，今天能为妳提供什么服务?"
客户：
"嗯，考虑许久之后，我决定要安装爱(LOVE)。你能指导我整个安装过程吗？"
客户服务员：
"是的，我能帮妳。妳准备好进行了吗？"
客户：
"怎么说，我的技术不是非常专业，但我想我已经准好要安装了。我应该先做什么？"
客户服务员：：
"第一步妳要打开妳的心(HEART)。妳把心(HEART)锁住了是吗，夫人？"
客户：
"是的，我將我的心锁住了，但里面还有一些其他程式执行着。可以在那些程式还在执行中安装吗？"
客户服务员：
"有那一些程式执行当中呢，夫人？"
客户：
"我瞧瞧，有过去的创伤(PAST-HURT.EXE)，缺乏自尊(LOW ESTEEM.EXE)，妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE)，和愤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)程式正在执行着。"
客户服务员：
"没问题。爱(LOVE)將会逐渐的从妳现在的操作系统中抹去过去的创伤(PAST-HURT.EXE)。它可能会遗留在妳的永久记忆中，但它不会再影响其他程式了。爱(LOVE)最终会用一个叫自尊(HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE)的模组复盖掉缺乏自尊(LOW
ESTEEM.EXE)。但是，妳必须要完全关闭妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE) and愤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)的程式。这些程式会让爱(LOVE)无法正常安装。妳能將它们关闭吗，夫人？"
客户：
"我不知道如何將它们关闭。你能告诉我如何做吗？"
客户服务员:
"我的荣幸。到你的开始清单，启用原谅(FORGIVENESS.EXE)程式。重复执行这个程式直到妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE)
and愤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)被完全删除为止."
客户：
"好了，完成了。爱(LOVE)已经自动开始安装了。这正常吗？"
客户服务员：
"是的。妳应该会接收到一个讯息说它会將妳的心(HEART) 重新安装生命。妳接到了吗?"
客户：
"是的，我收到了。它安装完全了吗？"
客户服务员：
"是的。但记住妳只有最基本的程式。妳必须连接到其他人的心(HEARTS)才能获得升级。"
客户：
"哇。已经有一个错误讯息出现了。我该怎么做？"
客户服务员：
"什么讯息？"
客户：
"错误讯息412 – 程式没有在内部配件上执行”，那是什么意思？"
客户服务员：
"别担心，夫人，那是一个普通的问题。它是指爱(LOVE)被设定在外部的心(HEARTS)上执行，但还没有在你的心(HEART)上执行。这是一个复杂的程式。用非专业用词来说，它指的是妳必须先爱(LOVE)妳自己，才能爱(LOVE)其他人。
客户：
"所以我该怎么做？"
客户服务员：
"妳能展开叫接受自我(SELFACCEPTANCE)的档案夹吗？"
客户：
"是的，我已打开。"
客户服务员:
"太好了。妳这方面越来越好。"
客户：
"谢谢"
客户服务员：
"不用客气。点以下的档案，然后拷贝到我的心(MYHEART)档案夹内：原谅自己(FORGIVE-SELF.DOC)、了解自我的价值(REALIZE-WORTH.TXT)和宽恕(TOLERANCE.DOC)。系统会复盖有冲突的文件并开始解决一切有错误的程式。还有，妳必须从所有的档案夹中杀掉啰嗦的自我批评(VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE)，然后清除回收桶里的垃圾，以确定它已被完全且永远的擦删除。"
客户：
"知道了。嘿！我的心(HEART)现充满了新的档案。微笑(SMILE.MPG)现正出现在我的萤幕上，且显示祥和(PEACE.EXE)，而满足(CONTENTMENT.COM)正把它们自己全部拷贝到心(HEART)上。这正常吗？"
客户服务员：
"有时候。其他东西需要一段时间，但所有东西最后都会在正确的时候下载。所以，现在爱(LOVE)已被安装且执行当中。妳应该能从这一点开始操作了。在我走之前还有一点要告诉妳。"
客户：
"是什么？"
客户服务员:
"爱(LOVE)是一个免费软体。记得把它和它的不同模组给妳见到的所有人。他们会將它再与其他人分享，然后回报妳类似的模组。"
客户：
"我会的。多谢你的帮忙。另外，你叫什么名字？"
客户服务员：
"妳可以称呼我神奇的心脏学家，或是伟大的医生，有时称为神或是本源。许多人认为他们只需一年检查一次就可以保持心的健康，但制造者建议每天固定检查来保持最高效率。另一种说法是，与它保持联络
. . . “
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