Customer:
"Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide
me through the process?"

CS Rep. :
"Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"

Customer:
"Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do
I do first?"

CS Rep. :
"The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?"

Customer:
"Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it
okay to install while they are running?"

CS Rep. :
"What programs are running ma'am?"

Customer:
"Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now."

CS Rep. :
"No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current
operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE.

However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn
those off ma'am?"

Customer:
"I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"

CS Rep. :
"My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as
many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been
completely erased."

Customer:
"Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that
normal?"

CS Rep. :
"Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life
of your HEART. Do you see that message?"

Customer:
"Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"

CS Rep. :
"Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades."

Customer:
"Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?"

CS Rep. :
"What does the message say?"

Customer:
"It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that
mean?"

CS Rep. :
"Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program
is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on
your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it
can "LOVE" others."

Customer:
"So what should I do?"

CS Rep. :
"Can you pull down the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"?"

Customer:
"Yes, I have it."

CS Rep. :
" Excellent. You're getting good at this."

Customer:
"Thank you."

CS Rep. :
"You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the
"MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and
TOLERANCE.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin
patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently
gone erased."

Customer:
"Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on
my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?"

CS Rep. :
"Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets
downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You
should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go."

Customer:
"Yes?"

CS Rep. :
"LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody
you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some
similarly sacred modules back to you."

Customer:
"I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?"

CS Rep. :
" You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great
Physician, sometimes called God or Source. Many people feel all they need is
an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a
schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put
another way, keep in touch . . . "

客戶：
"嗯，考慮許久之後，我決定要安裝愛(LOVE)。你能指導我整個安裝過程嗎？"

客戶服務員：
"是的，我能幫妳。妳準備好進行了嗎？"

客戶：
"怎麼說，我的技術不是非常專業，但我想我已經準好要安裝了。我應該先做什麼？"

客戶服務員：：
"第一步妳要打開妳的心(HEART)。妳把心(HEART)鎖住了是嗎，夫人？"

客戶：
"是的，我將我的心鎖住了，但裡面還有一些其他程式執行著。可以在那些程式還在執行中安裝嗎？"

客戶服務員：
"有那一些程式執行當中呢，夫人？"

客戶：
"我瞧瞧，有過去的創傷(PAST-HURT.EXE)，缺乏自尊(LOW ESTEEM.EXE)，妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE)，和憤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)程式正在執行著。"

客戶服務員：
"沒問題。愛(LOVE)將會逐漸的從妳現在的操作系統中抹去過去的創傷(PAST-HURT.EXE)。它可能會遺留在妳的永久記憶中，但它不會再影響其他程式了。愛(LOVE)最終會用一個叫自尊(HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE)的模組覆蓋掉缺乏自尊(LOW ESTEEM.EXE)。但是，妳必須要完全關閉妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE) and憤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)的程式。這些程式會讓愛(LOVE)無法正常安裝。妳能將它們關閉嗎，夫人？"

客戶：
"我不知道如何將它們關閉。你能告訴我如何做嗎？"

客戶服務員:
"我的榮幸。到你的開始清單，啟用原諒(FORGIVENESS.EXE)程式。重複執行這個程式直到妒忌(GRUDGE.EXE) and憤恨(RESENTMENT.COM)被完全刪除為止."

客戶：
"好了，完成了。愛(LOVE)已經自動開始安裝了。這正常嗎？"

客戶服務員：
"是的。妳應該會接收到一個訊息說它會將妳的心(HEART) 重新安裝生命。妳接到了嗎?"

客戶：
"是的，我收到了。它安裝完全了嗎？"

客戶服務員：
"是的。但記住妳只有最基本的程式。妳必須連接到其他人的心(HEARTS)才能獲得升級。"

客戶：
"哇。已經有一個錯誤訊息出現了。我該怎麼做？"

客戶服務員：
"什麼訊息？"

客戶：
"錯誤訊息412 – 程式沒有在內部配件上執行”，那是什麼意思？"

客戶服務員：
"別擔心，夫人，那是一個普通的問題。它是指愛(LOVE)被設定在外部的心(HEARTS)上執行，但還沒有在你的心(HEART)上執行。這是一個複雜的程式。用非專業用詞來說，它指的是妳必須先愛(LOVE)妳自己，才能愛(LOVE)其他人。

客戶：
"所以我該怎麼做？"

客戶服務員：
"妳能展開叫接受自我(SELFACCEPTANCE)的檔案夾嗎？"

客戶：
"是的，我已打開。"

客戶服務員:
"太好了。妳這方面越來越好。"

客戶：
"謝謝"

客戶服務員：
"不用客氣。點以下的檔案，然後拷貝到我的心(MYHEART)檔案夾內：原諒自己(FORGIVE-SELF.DOC)、了解自我的價值(REALIZE-WORTH.TXT)和寬恕(TOLERANCE.DOC)。系統會覆蓋有衝突的文件並開始解決一切有錯誤的程式。還有，妳必須從所有的檔案夾中殺掉囉嗦的自我批評(VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE)，然後清除回收桶裡的垃圾，以確定它已被完全且永遠的擦刪除。"

客戶：
"知道了。嘿！我的心(HEART)現充滿了新的檔案。微笑(SMILE.MPG)現正出現在我的螢幕上，且顯示祥和(PEACE.EXE)，而滿足(CONTENTMENT.COM)正把它們自己全部拷貝到心(HEART)上。這正常嗎？"

客戶服務員：
"有時候。其他東西需要一段時間，但所有東西最後都會在正確的時候下載。所以，現在愛(LOVE)已被安裝且執行當中。妳應該能從這一點開始操作了。在我走之前還有一點要告訴妳。"

客戶：
"是什麼？"

客戶服務員:
"愛(LOVE)是一個免費軟體。記得把它和它的不同模組給妳見到的所有人。他們會將它再與其他人分享，然後回報妳類似的模組。"

客戶：
"我會的。多謝你的幫忙。另外，你叫什麼名字？"

客戶服務員：
"妳可以稱呼我神奇的心臟學家，或是偉大的醫生，有時稱為神或是本源。許多人認為他們只需一年檢查一次就可以保持心的健康，但製造者建議每天固定檢查來保持最高效率。另一種說法是，與它保持聯絡 . . . “